So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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