I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
