The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
