they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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