just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
