Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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