The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
