Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
