We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
