I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
