the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
