idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
