Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
as a side note pls kill me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
