You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
