I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea