true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that