Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
