oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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