11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
