They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just pee around me
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
