I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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