bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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