saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize