What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
