i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize