I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
