His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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