yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
how do you play pong handcuffed?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
