what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
