she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
