We won't sleep together?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
