Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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