Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
