Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize