I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
