i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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