the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
