Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
