ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
