Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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