I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
