Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
