Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
