I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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