I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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