we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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