How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
