Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I deserve to be covered in dicks
All I want is dick and wine.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
