dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
