i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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