She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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