Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
