i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Panties = found
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
