so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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