just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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