either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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