dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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