i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
