I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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