she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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