i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize