No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
