i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I need to stop coming to work sober
I could make wine with my vomit
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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